Why Feeling Lost is the first step to Finding Yourself
The Quiet That Feels Loud
At first, it felt just like any other day. Raising teens, of course it was usual for them to be moving in their own direction, with football practice, their job or hanging out with their friends. But the morning after we dropped my daughter at college, I could feel something missing. I wanted to go in her room and wake her up, but it was empty. Well, empty except for the posters, books and a few sad t-shirts that didn’t make the cut. I closed the door so I wouldn’t have to think about her being gone. Maybe if I didn’t see the empty room, I could pretend we’d see her after her 9:00 pm shift at the Pizza place. But the “pretending” only lasted so long. I had to face the fact, something was missing in our little family. There was a quiet that didn’t go away.
The moment the house goes quiet, it can feel like the air itself has changed. The morning rush is gone. The dinner table feels too big. And while you’re proud of your kids for spreading their wings, there’s a part of you that aches with the question: “Now what?”
For so long, your days were filled with purpose—shuffling kids to the soccer game, planning the birthday party, googling how to do an Algebra problem (did I even take Algebra? What do we need it for?). But now that season is shifting. You might get a text to Apply Pay them money for a coffee, or a quick phone call to let you know they’re still alive. They are off growing into all you raised them to be. And you truly want them to, but you’re left in the quiet house.
No one really prepares you for the sense of emptiness that can echo louder than the silence.
Here’s the truth: feeling lost and alone doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means something is waking up.
Lost Is a Normal (and Powerful) Place to Be
There is nothing wrong with wanting so desperately to go back in time and watch those little faces swinging in the back yard. We know we can’t do that. But I need you to know- those little kids aren’t gone. They ‘re growing and transforming and it’s sad and happy and beautiful all at the same time.
It’s hard to know how to feel. And sometimes it feels like you’re the only one who’s sad, lost and alone.
But what you’re experiencing isn’t new, wrong or a sign of weakness. It’s not failure. It’s transition.
And transition always brings discomfort.
You’ve spent years prioritizing your family and putting your dreams on pause, but now suddenly, there’s space to think about you—and that can feel overwhelming. But this messy middle? This unfamiliar place? The place where one minute you’re praising God because you don’t have to cook dinner and the next, you’re crying because you open the closet to a full stack of folded towels (instead of a wet puddle in the middle of the floor), is exactly where you need to be.
This middle–is actually sacred ground. It’s where your next chapter begins.
You’re Not Lost—You’re Between stops.
What if “lost” isn’t a dead end, but a doorway?
It’s amazing to me that no one talks about how difficult this transition is and SHOULD be. I mean, we’ve lost the career we’ve held for the last 18+ years!!! When a role that defined so much of your identity starts to shift, it’s natural to feel unsteady. But instead of asking “Why don’t I know what I want?” try asking “What might I want now?” And be ok with that shifting and changing and trying out different adventures.
Feeling lost is simply a sign that you’re no longer living on autopilot. You’re awakening to the question: Who am I now, and what do I want to create next?
This is the Best Time to Start Fresh
Right now, you are in a beautiful, wide-open space where you get to choose again.
You know more about who you are than you ever did in your 20’s. You’ve weathered seasons of joy, stress, change, and growth. You’ve poured love into your family–but now it’s time to pour that same care into yourself.
This moment is your invitation to uncover forgotten passions, try new things, reconnect with your faith, or build something that’s just for you.
It’s time to find that thing that lights you up just as much as raising your kids did.
One Small Step Toward Empowerment
You don’t have to have this whole next chapter figured out. You don’t have to have all the answers today. In fact, you’re not supposed to.
But you can take one small step.
Try this: Set aside 10 quiet minutes and ask yourself—What brings me joy? What have I always wanted to try, learn, or experience? What did I do before I had kids that I’d love to try again?
Let those questions breathe. Your next purpose doesn’t have to arrive overnight. It’s not a race—it’s a rediscovery. And every step is part of the journey from empty to empowered.
You Are Not Alone
Friend, this space you’re in? It’s not empty—it’s a blank canvas, waiting to be discovered.
And you don’t have to navigate it alone. I’m here to walk with you, cheer you on, and remind you that the best chapters are often the ones we write after the biggest changes.
There’s so much beauty ahead, and it starts with one simple truth:
You are allowed to begin again.
If you are trying to figure this whole thing out, I have a Free Workbook to help you do just that.
It’s called From Empty To Empowered: 5 Truths Every Empty Nest Mom must Embrace before she can find her True Purpose.
Download it here
