How to Create a Life that fits who you are NOW
At first, it felt like any other day. Senior year, my daughter had a job, school, hangouts with friends. She loved to sleep in when she wasn’t busy…so some days, I wasn’t certain she still lived at home lol.
Since I was used to not seeing her, the first few weeks after she left for college felt just like a continuation of her senior year in High School.
But after a couple months, life seemed different. Of course the house was more quiet, but there were other shifts too. No shoes to put away at the front door. There was still a stack of clean folded towels in the closet. No empty Milk cups to gather and wash.
Even Baxter, our dog, noticed the difference. He layed by the front door as if waiting for her to walk in from her evening shift at the pizza place.
But we both realized that wasn’t going to happen. I knew I had to make some changes.
At first you might find yourself enjoying some precious downtime..a quiet moment to yourself. You might find yourself exhaling at the thought of not having to prepare dinner for the first time in a long time.
You may find yourself leaning into a more relaxed rhythm to your daily schedule.
Because even though you miss them, there are alot of good things to look forward to when your kids leave home.
You don’t just get your time back —you get your life back.
But if you’re anything like most empty nest moms, you might not quite know what to do with it.
You’ve spent decades building a life around everyone else’s needs — meals, sports schedules, college visits, even last-minute laundry emergencies.
Now, the house is quiet, your evenings are wide open… and you’re left wondering:
What do I even want now?
If that question makes your heart race a little, that’s okay.
Because this is where your next chapter truly begins — with rediscovering what matters most to you right now.
Why This Step Matters
After a big transition like the Empty Nest, many women try to jump straight into “what’s next” — new hobbies, travel, maybe even career changes — without pausing to ask whether those things actually align with their current values and season of life.
But here’s the thing: you’ve changed.
Your priorities, energy, and desires have evolved.
And it’s very common to forget those activities you enjoyed before you had kids. Going to concerts, refinishing furniture, crafting, running…so many hobbies that you’ve set aside so you could go all-in raising your babies.
Eighteen years changes a person. There are things I loved to do pre-marriage and family that you couldn’t get me to do now if you paid me (I’m talking to you baking classes-wink wink) Maybe it’s because I would love to not ever cook again (which I used to ADORE) for the rest of my life. Something about learning your family expects to eat dinner EVERY…..SINGLE….NIGHT that makes you realize how exhausting the whole dinner event is…
You might look back at who you’ve become since kids. We went to Europe for the first time when my daughter was a Junior. I’ve decided- I would love to be that person who travels!!
All to say–it’s a good idea to do a little exploring before you make changes to your life. Even if you think about who used to be, you probably aren’t that same person..and that’s not a bad thing. Experience changes us. Wisdom is earned. Now is the time to lean into thinking a little more about what you TRULY want in this stage of life.
In my upcoming workshop, The Joyful Rewrite, we dive into who you are now. It’s all about building your base — getting clarity on what feels fulfilling now, not twenty years ago.
This step is like laying the foundation of a house before decorating the rooms. Without it, everything else wobbles.
Finding Your Balance Again
Finding balance again is integral to building a life you LOVE. You can do this by gently assessing what areas of your life feel full and which ones need attention.
Start by assessing the 6 areas of your life. Relationships, Purpose, Finances, Enjoyment, Health and Faith. Spend a few minutes evaluating where you are now. Score yourself from 1 (very unhappy, completely out of control or have neglected this area) to a 10 (I am winning this!!) Most women land somewhere in the middle but we believe anything below a 5 is in real need of attention.
It’s not about perfection — it’s about awareness.
You might realize your “purpose” slice feels steady, but “enjoyment” or “faith” are running on empty.
That awareness isn’t discouraging; it’s empowering. It shows you where to pour your energy so your days start to feel balanced and aligned again.
Routines That Support the New You
Once you know what matters, you can begin building simple routines that bring change/balance. Morning habits that fuel peace instead of pressure. Evening rituals that nurture rest instead of worry.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole life.
You just need to design one that feels like you…now.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
One of the biggest gifts of this season is the chance to connect with other women walking the same path.
When you surround yourself with other empty nesters who are also rediscovering themselves, something magical happens — the loneliness lifts. You laugh more. You dream bigger. You remember that you’re not “starting over”… you’re starting fresh. And you’re not doing it by yourself.
The Bottom Line
Designing your life after the Empty Nest isn’t about “finding a new purpose” — it’s about rebuilding your foundation around who you’ve become.
When you do that, joy stops feeling like something you’re chasing… and starts feeling like something you wake up to.
Ok so what do I do now?
Want help creating a life that actually fits who you are now?
Join The Joyful Rewrite Priority List for early access, bonuses, and the special founding member rate. Get on the List here.
And if you’re still feeling sad, missing your child and just not sure where to start, get my free guide here:
